...but what are you going to do about it. Plus, not everybody who reads my blog is on Facebook. I think there are two or three or them. Get with the times already!
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Sometimes I start with my left arm but other times I wash my hair first.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Gladly
4. Do you plan outfits?
Kind of, but only when I want to look sharp.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
A bit overwhelmed and kind of cold (the AC, for whatever reason, is really strong in the office).
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
There’s a ‘Cat in the Hat’ bookmark on my desk that has red in it.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Boy, I’m usually really good at remembering my dreams.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Nope.
9. What are you craving right now?
I could go for pizza or a bacon cheeseburger. But I'm always up for either of those.
10. Do you floss?
Not as often as I should, but much more often than I used to.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Charlie Bucket…mmm…cabbage soup.
12. Are you emotional?
Not overtly, but I think I’m good at expressing my emotions. I’m not even sure what this question is asking.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Yes, and higher.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I’m a biter, baby!
15. Do you like your hair?
I do, actually.
16. Do you like yourself?
For the most part. There are things about myself that I would like to change or improve.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Sure, but only if he brings Jeb. That way, Jeb and I can say rude things about George in Spanish and he won’t completely understand what we’re saying.
18. What are you listening to right now?
A Genius playlist of “Just” by Radiohead. The current track is “Bixby Canyon Bridge” by Death Cab for Cutie.
19. Are your parents strict?
No, not really. They barely had a clue of what they were doing when I grew up, though. They did their best but I suppose there is some inherent psychological damage that results from being the first born.
20. Would you go sky diving?
I think I would it if were in tandem and if I didn’t have to pay for it.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Certainly. I like it with canned pears.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Define celebrity. I shook Greg Louganis’s hand when I was ten or twelve. I suppose I’ve met a few Mormon celebrities, but they don’t really count, do they? I did hang out with a famous Chilean writer named Alberto Fuguet. A few of us went to a movie together. It was “Elizabethtown,” and it wasn’t very good. But now I can tell future students that I hung out for a night with Alberto Fuguet.
23. Do you rent movies often?
I grace the local Red Box with my presence every few weeks.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
My personality.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Six. I would tell you which ones, but the question does not request that information.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Yes, and let me tell you about a time that my brother John and I called this guy over and over and over again. I believe it was after we watched Square One Television. Remember that? Mathman, Mathman, Mathman…or Mathnet? Any way, after the seventh or eighth time calling this guy—in a row mind you—he yelled, “Leave me the fudge alone.” Only he didn't say "fudge." He said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
27. Ever been on a train?
Yes, from Portugal to Spain. Oh, and I went on the Heber Creeper when I was a kid. No wait, we got on the train in Spain, at the border with Portugal. But it was a real honest-to-goodness passenger train.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Aimee says she can taste a difference. I think she must have a taste-olfactory problem. Hmmm…maybe we should take her to an otolaryngologist.
29.Do you have a cell-phone?
What do you think this is? The 1980s? Of course I have a cell phone.
30. Do you use chap stick?
Never have and never will, unless I want to develop a Blistex dependency.
31. Do you own a gun?
No.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yes. Tis the only way to eat sushi.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
My current mistress, the Afro-Hispanic Review. (I’m formatting the journal…well, I’m procrastinating formatting the journal right now.) I’m sure I’ll see my kids and wife at some point.
34. Are you too forgiving?
I’m not quite sure how to answer this. On one hand, if I say I’m too forgiving, somebody I tag may disagree and say I’m actually a cold-hearted jerk that never forgets that time that…well, you get the point. On the other hand, if I say I’m too forgiving, people might start taking advantage of my generous and merciful spirit. I don’t want that kind of distraction in my friendships. Let’s just put it this way—I don’t hold grudges.
35. Ever been in love?
Oh baby, have I ever. Still am, in fact. It’s a really good thing I’m married to the woman with whom I’m in love.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Well, I asked Doug and he says he’s working.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
Yummy. I love the Costco freezer ones when they’re still kind of frozen on the inside.
38. Last time you cried?
Hmmm…I’m not quite sure. I got choked up the other day but no tears.
39. What was the last question you asked?
I asked Kristie if she remembered the band Larkin’s Garden. She replied, “affirmative,” just like the good little KILLER ROBOT that she is.
40. Favorite time of the year?
5:22 PM
41. Do you have any tattoos?
Negative.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Absolutely not.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Huh? Oh wait, is that that movie with Ashton Kutcher. No, I try to avoid his work.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes. I also walked into a glass patio door that I thought was open. It was that clean. Because of my mishap, my Grandmin put up a butterfly sticky thing on the door to make sure I knew when it was closed.
45. Favorite color?
Blue.
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes. In fact, I was slapping my kids around just yesterday. They loved it, saying, "Daddy, slap my feet, slap my bum..." I have a bunch of masochists on my hands.
47. Is your hair curly?
When it’s long, something I only discovered in the past two years.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky? It’s been awhile, that’s for sure. I didn’t even buy U2’s new album. Naughty, naughty, me.
49. Do looks matter?
Probably.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Like in a card game? Sure. But adultery? Probably. I like my wife too much. But that ain’t gonna happen.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Nah.
52. Do you like your life right now?
For the most part, yes. I wish I could pay somebody to write my dissertation, though. No wait. I wish somebody would pay ME to write my dissertation.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Sometimes I fall asleep while watching TV, but I always wake up, turn it off, and go to bed.
54. Can you handle the truth?
No, Jack, I can’t handle the truth. We live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? Obviously not I, since I don’t own ‘a’ gun, let alone many guns to necessitate an entire rack.
55. Do you have good vision?
With my glasses on I have 20/20 vision.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Maybe, well, probably not. I don’t hate anybody but Satan and his millions of minions. So, yes.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Oh, 30-45 minutes a day.
58. The last person you held hands with?
I’m trying to remember if it was with my wife or my daughter. Probably my daughter. We cuddled on the couch this morning.
59. What are you wearing?
A white hoodie with “Vanderbilt” embroidered on it that I purchased for $20 at a bookstore sidewalk sale. I am also wearing a pair of gray and white plaid Calvin Klein shorts I bought at Costco for around $20.
60. What is your favorite animal?
I want a dog. First a black lab and second a German Shepherd. Aimee says I should like lions since I'm like a lion. I roar, laze around, and make the women of the pride do all the work. Hey, I work, sometimes.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
Sitting in my office chair.
62. Can you hula hoop?
No.
63. Do you have a job?
I tell people I have a job, but I’ve just been faking my way through school for years and years. They never kick me out; they just keep giving me diplomas.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
I bought some summer squash, zucchini, bell peppers, an onion and new potatoes from a road-side produce stand.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Many times. My favorite time was when I was fourteen and snuck out to go to a pool hall with my 16-year-old friend Andy. He even drove! We played Mortal Kombat as well as knocking some balls around. It was fun. There were even people there smoking cigarettes. I was pretty sure the Spirit was absent. Oh, I even saw a girl in a low-cut shirt. It was too much for a 14-year-old boy who wanted desperately to look cool in front of the older kids. I felt really guilty about sneaking out of the house, and then sneaking back in. The next day my dad asked, “Did you have fun last night?” Oh snap!
FIN
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Sometimes I start with my left arm but other times I wash my hair first.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Gladly
4. Do you plan outfits?
Kind of, but only when I want to look sharp.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
A bit overwhelmed and kind of cold (the AC, for whatever reason, is really strong in the office).
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
There’s a ‘Cat in the Hat’ bookmark on my desk that has red in it.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Boy, I’m usually really good at remembering my dreams.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Nope.
9. What are you craving right now?
I could go for pizza or a bacon cheeseburger. But I'm always up for either of those.
10. Do you floss?
Not as often as I should, but much more often than I used to.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Charlie Bucket…mmm…cabbage soup.
12. Are you emotional?
Not overtly, but I think I’m good at expressing my emotions. I’m not even sure what this question is asking.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Yes, and higher.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I’m a biter, baby!
15. Do you like your hair?
I do, actually.
16. Do you like yourself?
For the most part. There are things about myself that I would like to change or improve.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Sure, but only if he brings Jeb. That way, Jeb and I can say rude things about George in Spanish and he won’t completely understand what we’re saying.
18. What are you listening to right now?
A Genius playlist of “Just” by Radiohead. The current track is “Bixby Canyon Bridge” by Death Cab for Cutie.
19. Are your parents strict?
No, not really. They barely had a clue of what they were doing when I grew up, though. They did their best but I suppose there is some inherent psychological damage that results from being the first born.
20. Would you go sky diving?
I think I would it if were in tandem and if I didn’t have to pay for it.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Certainly. I like it with canned pears.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Define celebrity. I shook Greg Louganis’s hand when I was ten or twelve. I suppose I’ve met a few Mormon celebrities, but they don’t really count, do they? I did hang out with a famous Chilean writer named Alberto Fuguet. A few of us went to a movie together. It was “Elizabethtown,” and it wasn’t very good. But now I can tell future students that I hung out for a night with Alberto Fuguet.
23. Do you rent movies often?
I grace the local Red Box with my presence every few weeks.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
My personality.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Six. I would tell you which ones, but the question does not request that information.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Yes, and let me tell you about a time that my brother John and I called this guy over and over and over again. I believe it was after we watched Square One Television. Remember that? Mathman, Mathman, Mathman…or Mathnet? Any way, after the seventh or eighth time calling this guy—in a row mind you—he yelled, “Leave me the fudge alone.” Only he didn't say "fudge." He said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
27. Ever been on a train?
Yes, from Portugal to Spain. Oh, and I went on the Heber Creeper when I was a kid. No wait, we got on the train in Spain, at the border with Portugal. But it was a real honest-to-goodness passenger train.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Aimee says she can taste a difference. I think she must have a taste-olfactory problem. Hmmm…maybe we should take her to an otolaryngologist.
29.Do you have a cell-phone?
What do you think this is? The 1980s? Of course I have a cell phone.
30. Do you use chap stick?
Never have and never will, unless I want to develop a Blistex dependency.
31. Do you own a gun?
No.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yes. Tis the only way to eat sushi.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
My current mistress, the Afro-Hispanic Review. (I’m formatting the journal…well, I’m procrastinating formatting the journal right now.) I’m sure I’ll see my kids and wife at some point.
34. Are you too forgiving?
I’m not quite sure how to answer this. On one hand, if I say I’m too forgiving, somebody I tag may disagree and say I’m actually a cold-hearted jerk that never forgets that time that…well, you get the point. On the other hand, if I say I’m too forgiving, people might start taking advantage of my generous and merciful spirit. I don’t want that kind of distraction in my friendships. Let’s just put it this way—I don’t hold grudges.
35. Ever been in love?
Oh baby, have I ever. Still am, in fact. It’s a really good thing I’m married to the woman with whom I’m in love.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Well, I asked Doug and he says he’s working.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
Yummy. I love the Costco freezer ones when they’re still kind of frozen on the inside.
38. Last time you cried?
Hmmm…I’m not quite sure. I got choked up the other day but no tears.
39. What was the last question you asked?
I asked Kristie if she remembered the band Larkin’s Garden. She replied, “affirmative,” just like the good little KILLER ROBOT that she is.
40. Favorite time of the year?
5:22 PM
41. Do you have any tattoos?
Negative.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Absolutely not.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Huh? Oh wait, is that that movie with Ashton Kutcher. No, I try to avoid his work.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes. I also walked into a glass patio door that I thought was open. It was that clean. Because of my mishap, my Grandmin put up a butterfly sticky thing on the door to make sure I knew when it was closed.
45. Favorite color?
Blue.
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes. In fact, I was slapping my kids around just yesterday. They loved it, saying, "Daddy, slap my feet, slap my bum..." I have a bunch of masochists on my hands.
47. Is your hair curly?
When it’s long, something I only discovered in the past two years.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky? It’s been awhile, that’s for sure. I didn’t even buy U2’s new album. Naughty, naughty, me.
49. Do looks matter?
Probably.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Like in a card game? Sure. But adultery? Probably. I like my wife too much. But that ain’t gonna happen.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Nah.
52. Do you like your life right now?
For the most part, yes. I wish I could pay somebody to write my dissertation, though. No wait. I wish somebody would pay ME to write my dissertation.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Sometimes I fall asleep while watching TV, but I always wake up, turn it off, and go to bed.
54. Can you handle the truth?
No, Jack, I can’t handle the truth. We live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? Obviously not I, since I don’t own ‘a’ gun, let alone many guns to necessitate an entire rack.
55. Do you have good vision?
With my glasses on I have 20/20 vision.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Maybe, well, probably not. I don’t hate anybody but Satan and his millions of minions. So, yes.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Oh, 30-45 minutes a day.
58. The last person you held hands with?
I’m trying to remember if it was with my wife or my daughter. Probably my daughter. We cuddled on the couch this morning.
59. What are you wearing?
A white hoodie with “Vanderbilt” embroidered on it that I purchased for $20 at a bookstore sidewalk sale. I am also wearing a pair of gray and white plaid Calvin Klein shorts I bought at Costco for around $20.
60. What is your favorite animal?
I want a dog. First a black lab and second a German Shepherd. Aimee says I should like lions since I'm like a lion. I roar, laze around, and make the women of the pride do all the work. Hey, I work, sometimes.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
Sitting in my office chair.
62. Can you hula hoop?
No.
63. Do you have a job?
I tell people I have a job, but I’ve just been faking my way through school for years and years. They never kick me out; they just keep giving me diplomas.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
I bought some summer squash, zucchini, bell peppers, an onion and new potatoes from a road-side produce stand.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Many times. My favorite time was when I was fourteen and snuck out to go to a pool hall with my 16-year-old friend Andy. He even drove! We played Mortal Kombat as well as knocking some balls around. It was fun. There were even people there smoking cigarettes. I was pretty sure the Spirit was absent. Oh, I even saw a girl in a low-cut shirt. It was too much for a 14-year-old boy who wanted desperately to look cool in front of the older kids. I felt really guilty about sneaking out of the house, and then sneaking back in. The next day my dad asked, “Did you have fun last night?” Oh snap!
FIN
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